behold, st. dumpling's claw. so named due to its vaguely cat-claw-like shape by an unknown follower of our lord and savior, dumpling. dumpling was believed to have been subjected to the donning of blue claw caps when she took to climbing curtains in an effort to spread her gospel vertically as well as horizontally.
some scholars disagree over whether the island's unique blue sand predated its name, or if the island became blue after the naming, in an act of dumpling. all scholars agree that the blueness probably has nothing to do with the enormous [JAM FACTORY] at the island's northern point, which is perpetually surrounded by a dense and sinister fog.
it was difficult to reach any of the sixty-nine st. dumpling's claw locals for a detailed interview on the peculiarity of their island home. one resident was quoted as saying "please stop calling me. you think we get unlimited minutes out here?"
possible tourist attractions include a bridge to nowhere, three sunken ships in a rocky outcropping known as fancy's maw, and the row of shops across the street from the [JAM FACTORY] that all burned down under mysterious circumstances. reconstruction is slated to begin in 20never.
regardless of the exact nature of its oddness, outsiders widely consider st. dumpling's claw to be an inhospitable location populated exclusively by the desperate and the foolish. isolated, destitute, and potentially radioactive, it is without a doubt one of the worst possible place to try to earn a living or raise a family.
tiara cakebread, our legacy founder: holy shit a goose
ok but enough of the weird nature documentary intro. as fun as that was i cannot keep it going. welcome to the legacy, friends! this here is our founder, tiara cakebread. she's kinda plain-looking because she's an edit of an edit of my very old sim, ticky telling.
technically this is gonna be a rainbowcy in that every gen has a color theme and the kids will be named color-related things, but the colors aren't actually in rainbow order (and orange got left out entirely cuz i hate it). i made up some other weird rules for myself but i'll explain those as we go. first let's check back in with tiara. how you doing ti?
tiara: ok, but i could use some method of bathing on this junk-filled lot you moved me into
excuse u, what do you think the sprinkler hooked up to yr rain-collector is for?
tiara: oh my god
thanks to crispsandkerosene, The Mystery Man came by bearing mysterious gifts.
but tiara was busy putting the first check on her list of obligatory pooklet-and-azaya legacy gags
tiara: BY JOVE
i see you found yr mysterious gift. how are you feeling about your newly acquired witchiness?
tiara: eh, pretty neutral
iola skoglund stopped by and tiara immediately got her flirt on. unfortunately for the both of them, it is not meant to be.
i decided to make things slightly more challenging for myself by not just letting my heirs marry whomever they want. each generation there are only three potential spouses, who correspond in some way to that generation's color, whether through the color of their hair, eyes, skin, or all three.
i made tiara rainbow-colored since she's the founder, but technically the gen 1 color is black. she can only pursue one of the three sims pictured above: jet school, marshalette witcraft or frolisch eiscreme. as a bonus, if tiara manages to woo the sim who most embodies the generation's color (in this case, marshalette), she wins a prize.
i had tiara say goodbye to iola and they made out to spite me.
time to go mate-hunting
we got lucky at the coffin bean, running into two of the three potential spouses! tiara, however, only had eyes for the magnificently teal lunette vodrazka
eyes that can apparently see through concrete??
tiara: UGH, BARF
first of all how dare u, black hair is one of yr turn-ons, u walnut. she likewise puked over frolisch but i wasn't quick enough to cap it. on to the next community lot, i guess
it seems that iola has moved on from her brief fling with tiara. and with lunette, no less.
tiara, meanwhile, wishes she could afford some chips, which she can't, cuz she's broke af. she started with a few thousand dollars and it all went into her shitty junkyard lot.
we weren't having any luck at the bar so on to the laundromat.
where tiara eschewed all social interaction and beelined for the snacks again. i feel u, ti.
like afterwards and vaude before it, the local laundromat of st. dumpling's claw is merely a front for illicit candy gambling.
miasma pultusker tried to pay her a compliment but tiara was super cranky about it
tiara: look if you don't have chips i'm not interested
this is not how you make friends who will buy you chips, tiara
truly a crushing blow
IOLA HDU STEAL OUR INVISIBLE NEWSPAPER
now how will tiara swat flies away from her meat cylinders
tiara is still desperate for cash, so it's time to dig up rocks to sell. i feel like st. dumpling's claw is one of the few places where some shit you found in the ground being worth $50 makes any sense, given that the ground is blue.
an embarrassment of riches
after a long day of digging, tiara went to sleep
for like four minutes and then she was awake with the pressing need to critique the "art" by the dumpster behind the gas station.
yr lucky yr so cute, kiddo
cuz yr pretty much good for nothing
really, is "excited" what that face means?
tiara was stinky and still being a baby about her sprinkler shower so i made her turn it on and she proceeded to mop ... the sand?
she figured it out eventually
anyway, time to visit more community lots to try to build relationship with potential spouses, and also dig holes on other people's property where u don't have to clean up after yrself.
miasma: i'd compliment u on yr deltoids, but i've learned my lesson
as impeccably coifed as this kitchen staff may be, they should probably invest in some hair nets.
time to go before tiara falls victim to another hedgehog raisin bran pyramid scheme
so this time we went to the ice cream shop and holy shit tiara look behind you quick it's the only eligible townie that you haven't puked at!!
a shrug is better that vomit. i can work with a shrug. TALK TO HER, TIARA.
tiara: do you like eggs? i like eggs. such a versatile food. like, scrambled, sunny side up, totally different beasts, you know?? you can put eggs in everything. i think egg ice cream exists. not here at this specific ice cream shop, but somewhere. they might make egg ice cream here if we requested it. if we got enough people on board. i think there's eggs already in ice cream, but not as a flavor. maybe i'm thinking of custard. anyway. EGGS, AM I RIGHT?
marshalette: yeah, eggs are cool. they're uh. they're yellow. like gold.
tiara: OMG I LOVE GOLD
tiara: LET'S BE BEST FRIENDS
but then marshalette ran off the lot, probably in fear, and i sent tiara to a bunch of different community lots trying to find her again.
we had no luck finding marsha, just a ton of townies hooking up
like so many
she wanted to freestyle for tips and decided to do it where she would be drowned out by the crashing of pins. probably for the best given that she has no freestyle skills whatsoever.
outside, the bad witch spawned and crossandra perse was super stoked about it whereas lunette is flipping shit in the background there
tiara moved her performance to the front of the bowling alley and earned $5 for her efforts
time to immediately spend twice that much on shitty selfies!
tiara: AHHH NOT THE BLUEBERRIES.
have a nice hotdog nap?
tiara: what day is it?
i honestly couldn't tell you.
tiara continues to be most productive at night
if rather absentminded about the proper safety precautions for activities that involve white hot sparks flying directly at your eyes
tiara: technically i don't need both
that is beside the point
her digging finally produced something other than a rock or bone.
and like every fortune sim before her she immediately wants to buy a bunch of random crap that costs way more money than she actually has
tiara: I'M SO LONELY
tiara: SOOOO LONELY
we FINALLY ran into marsha again
but not before the social bunny showed up to point and laugh because fuck that guy
social bunny: i must go my people need me
tiara tried to ask marsha if she was seeing anyone but marsha was not pleased, even tho they are almost best friends??
time for a friendly game of catch except not cuz ofc tiara throws bean balls
tiara: ha ha whaaaat who me no way
for someone who is turned on by swimsuits you sure don't like wearing one tiara
jesus mario 64 had better water effects than this. but still, cuties
eventually it was time for tiara to go home and drink six powerthirsts in rapid succession
and then provide financial consulting all night
tiara: INVEST IN BICEPS
financial consulting: public library edition! trying to pass the time until marsha gets off of work
elsewhere in the library, a little threesome unfolds between some townies
i'm gonna feel bad about breaking this up if/when i gotta marry them into future cakebread generations
tiara: public displays of affection in which i am not included really grind my gears
pointless photobooth selfies will make you feel better
tiara: the void approaches
stop calling, iola, tiara isn't going to marry you. also you steal our newspaper like every single day u jackass
sO STOP TRYING TO AUTONOMOUSLY DO IT, GOD
tiara: fuck the void. i'll punch the outsider right in the mouth.
marsha came over! and is the first person to ever successfully compliment tiara
tiara: i AM awesome, aren't i? people should tell me that more often.
abruptly, a bonfire.
~bonfire of friendshiiip~
tiara had the possibility to kiss marsha for a while but i didn't dare until they were best friends at least, given their dubious chemistry. when i told princess-10-outgoing-points here to start with something slow, like a peck, she threw a giant hissy fit and sulked all the way over to marsha.
~first kiss immortalized even tho tiara was being a lil shit about iiiit~
ofc when i told her to try sucking marsha's tonsils directly out of her face, she was super thrilled.
marsha abruptly went home despite her apparently conflicted feelings re: tiara
to be fair, i would also leave pretty abruptly if someone invited me to fuck around on a grody mattress roped to some planks and cement blocks next to a dumpster behind a gas station.
tiara consoled herself with seven hotdogz.
the next day, tiara invited marsha back over and this time she was much more amenable to couch-fuckery when she saw that tiara had set out a nice plant and a scented candle. u see, it's all about ambiance.
post sofa screw, marsha finally moved in aND HOLY SHIT THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY
time to get you crazy kids a real house
welp, that's the end for now. but i've played pretty far ahead so the next part should be up soon. if you have any wcifs i will do my best to answer them but please ask them here (anon commenting is enabled) rather than at my tumblr. mbye.