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the cakebread rainbowcy 2.1
HEY EVERYBODY. it's been a year. let's all collectively pretend it never happened. cool?
C̴̛͏̮͕͎͈̥͎̲̟͈ ̝͍͖̣̼͟Ơ͏̞̹̙͍̗̫̝͙ ̧̖̜͍̲̟̖̳̟ͅỌ̞̝͚̻͕͍̣́̀ ͓̭̭͚̱͓͈͕L͏̗̭̦.
right back to this nonsense, tiara looks so done
bUT APPARENTLY SHE'S NOT DONE. NEITHER ONE OF THESE FUCKOS IS DONE. and i'm just mean enough to let them go through with it. you want 10 kids? FINE. TEN KIDS. WE'LL DO IT LIVE.
it wasn't yesterday. it was today. i have the age span for babies set to a day in my game, otherwise they'd all end up in the fridge.
tiara: this is where baby go
THAT IS NOT WHERE BABY GO
marsha: no, no i'm pretty sure this is where baby go
[PTERODACTYL SHRIEKING]
you don't even have a bar anymore you don't even have one it's not there nothing is there how are you doing this how
the eclectic and enigmatic energizer a.k.a. electroshock bath potato is the only reason tiara is still alive
because she spends literally all her time tanking her motives on tubfucking. idk how marsha manages it without daily trips to the shocktato, i guess she's got a stronger tubfuck constitution, since she's a romance sim??
marsha: so if we feed them the green bottles, it'll make the green fumes go away?
nope
tiara: totally, that's what i read in the parenting manual
you did no such thing
marsha: i think it's working!
it is absolutely not
the babies aged up and they are, unsurprising, less than pleased
marsha: i don't get it why are u mad :(
violet: bitch take a guesssssssss
lilac: THIS DOLL IS AN OMEN OF THE STINK WHAT HAS PLAGUED US. DESTROY IT.
anyway proper pictures of the babies? lavender, the oldest.
lilac, middle child, badly edited. i've been trying to fix this picture for a year.
violet, smol. sneaky and smol.
so then i put in that toddlers-can-use-stairs mod without looking closely at the very old, tiny gifs, just kind of figuring it would use their crawling animation at, like, a 45 degree angle? nah, friend. it just straight uses the child walking animation. so i got to enjoy this exorcist shit right here.
i noped out of there so hard that i bought them a different house. one storey. no stairs. (it's the same house model that the fiebs moved into in update 4.2! tmyk)
marsha: /taps on ant farm exactly once
hobby person: T͠҉H̡͜Ȩ͘ ͢N̵̕ÁŢU̵RA̢L ̵͞W̨̢͠O͟҉R̡ĹD̛
Introducing SLAP CRAB! the new total body toddler workout! Make sure your tot's first words are "Check out these SICK DELTS, Ma!" SLAP CRAB! Fitness? More like fitYES! SLAP CRAB! Only sixteen easy payments of §26.25! Order yours TODAY!
glow-babies. glowbies, if u will.
who the fuck
who the additional fuck
sleepy time assembly line
marsha: i should have taken pointers from the beetle and stayed hoooooome
well, i mean. it's a hygiene-related activity, at least?? so, points for trying
violet: it's too late mother, the soiling has already begun
tots doing tot things
[muffled slap crab jingle playing in the distance]
marsha please stop encouraging the ppl that break into your house by speaking to them. about ... your wife's eggs? what
tiara: hulp
i see
tiara: man, babies are pretty cool
glad you think so, ti. cuz those wants are locked and you've got 7 more on the way.
huggles are rly cute but when the animation is ending doesn't it kind of look like one is trying to strangle the other? no? just me??
violet: HECK YOU, LOGIC
#TBT to when hilariously broken shit like this was behind a TSR paywall.
i truly wish there was a way to stop sims from doing this. or make the "samples" literally anything except incredibly expensive electronics. STOP GIVING MY SIMS FREE MONEY FOR NO REASON.
marsha i stg
WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE nobody knows you! why do you keep showing up??
ah
and so it all becomes clear
cello standberry: what? NU UH. i came over cuz i love kids! like this one here. hey kid. how's um. what's uh. did you ... did you catch the latest episode of game of thrones?
lavender: game of thrones is poop
cello: whoa, harsh. i mean maybe it's not for everyone, but it's an important cultural landmark of our time and i think it deserves a fair and measured crit—
lavender: POOP.
cello: minus >:{
marsha: hell yeah, take no prisoners, lav. game of thrones is poop.
lavender: from a BUTT.
cake TIME. only showing lavender cuz it would be the exact same picture just with the other two kids. i hate multiple birthdays.
added bunks to the baby room, but left in all the baby stuff because there are still so many, many more babies on the way.
child makeover pic the first: lavender, with lilac mouth-breathe photobombing, rudely remembering the fashion travesty into which lavender initially aged up.
lilac, managed to keep his damn mouth closed for his own picture.
violet, plotting to skip school in exactly 0.2 seconds.
i don't know how she managed it, i thought everyone was on the bus and then bloop, pop-up. whatever, now u get to spend all day fishing since we're too lazy to go to the store for food.
also u can greet one of the members of team purple! the exactly three people with whom the eventual heir of yr generation can fall in disgusting love.
violet: uncomf
sarahbeth mootz: i would like to leave now
that same day another member of team purple wandered by, to steal our invisible newspaper
followed by the ~PURPLE PRINCESS~
here's a bodyshop pic of everyone on team purple. left to right: crossandra perse, roxie porpora, sarahbeth mootz. this was back before i realized it was not actually the best idea for the non-princesses to only have one feature relevant to the gen color (i.e. sarahbeth) cuz then a rando townie might spawn with purple eyes and confuse the heck out of me. so, going forward, new potential spouses will have at least two features relevant to the gen color, to help distinguish them from the rest of the populace. BOY I BET ALL OF THIS WAS INCREDIBLY INTERESTING.
today i learned you can tinker with hot tubs???
and by "you" of course i mean "not tiara, never tiara"
i relate to this on a spiritual level
violet: i have determined that this is not checkers
lavender: whatever it is, it's stressing me out
shardoka magica: you can do it if you believe in yourself!
lilac: for my birthday i would like a yacht. and a fleet of ghouls. to man the yacht. i suggest you contact a genie.
marsha: good turkey /pat pat
was it a lot of fun lilac. is "fun" what that was.
tiara: i know you want to be reunited with your family, invisible bag of money, but this rescue mission you're describing sounds a whole lot like a bank robbery
hey marsha, who u pretending to punch
marsha: GUY NAMED CHAD THAT I MADE UP TO REPRESENT COMPULSORY SOCIAL INTERACTION
fuck you chad
marsha: BLARG
i'd make a joke about going a little easier on the chad but we all know the score. she purgnunt.
lavender: i have no idea what's going on
lilac: [shouting from a distance] BREAKING SCHOOL PROPERTY GETS YOU MONEY
lavender: the daystar tells me of a creeping blue horror, a threat to my vast power that grows ever nearer. surely as the winter night is long, this beast shall steal my kingdom.
honey maybe don't stare at the sun through your telescope. or, like, in general. also there's no winter on this island.
abruptly, more baby.
marsha: oh man, i wish lilac was here! he'd know to do. he's so smart.
lilac: the dorid nudibranch sea slug has a feather-like plume on its back through which it both breathes and poops. man, i know so many things. i'm so smart.
ta-da it's indigo! everybody, welcome indigo to the fam—
lavender: IS THAT LITTLE TURD-FACTORY BLUE???
well, more of a purplish-blue
marsha: anybody else craving barbecue all of a sudden?
tiara: hey electra, why are you in my house?
electra sorbet: i heard yelling, so i scaled your fence, bashed in a window, reached through to unlock your door, realized i couldn't reach the door, bashed in another window, got to the door, discovered the door was already unlocked, and let myself in.
tiara: k
lavender: i've just gotta step up my game, that's all. just be more whimsical! like getting up out of bed at three in the morning to jump rope in the garage!
lavender: or staying up all night to catch enormous fish in the front yard! who would do such a thing? lavender would! because she's whimsical!
lavender: while i'm at it i ought to learn couples counseling because wanting 10 kids is clearly a sign of a deeper issue
i mean normally i might agree but yr living during the rebuilding stage after some nebulous apocalypse event on an alternate timeline of an earth-adjacent planet so overcrowding isn't rly an issue
tiara: it comes
wat
oh, right that. when in doubt, perngant.
chinese food makes everything better, even acute cases of baby
lavender: I HAVE NO TIME FOR CHINESE FOOD, I'M STUDYING HOW TO BE WHIMSICAL AND MAKE MY PARENTS STOP REPRODUCING
rubbing yr baby bump or the gut full of chinese food u got?
marsha: both. both is good.
tiara: i don't know, tiny invisible robot that lives in our stove, i just don't see what the big deal is about game of thrones. i guess it's technically classist for self-appointed monarchs to be playing an exclusive game of musical chairs based on arbitrary titles and supposed bloodlines, but they don't hold any real societal power. we're all free to film ourselves playing musical chairs with whomever we please, whenever we please.
tiara: whosmylilbluenugget? whosit? whosit?
oh tiara. you've come so far, learned so much. but you still don't know how to change a goddamn diaper.
ABRUPTLY INDIGO IS A TODDLER AND ALSO THE CUTEST EVER. normally i don't put hair this long on toddlers but this was the only shade that i liked on her and anyway she's an alien bab she can have long hair if she wants. long hair and a full set of very sharp teef.
tiara: what a crazy, random happenstance!
IS IT
AHAHAHAHA
marsha: IS THE STORM BEES I THINK IT MIGHT BE BEES
no it's baybees. huehuehue.
anyway lilac is a big fan of indigo!
he keeps repeatedly rolling wants to play with, say hi, play peek-a-boo
and i am absolutely not regretting those teeth right now!
lilac: ok indigo, you gotta learn how to survive in the wild. we'll start with camouflage.
indigo: MY GOD MAN. WHAT WIZARDRY IS THIS? YOU'VE DISAPPEARED INTO THE ETHER.
lavender: i am fulfilling my affection quotient hi
indigo: yaaaay more friends :D
marsha: maybe we should ... not have so many children.
tiara: maybe you should have brought this up before we were both heavily pregnant and i began every morning by getting kicked in the bladder by tiny stabby feet
violet: OH GOD BEES. THIS IS SOMEHOW MOM'S FAULT
violet: wait. no it was the garage door's fault! the garage door what is in the entirely opposite direction from whence i am scowling!
marsha? you wanna do something about those fetid takeout containers?
marsha: no! they're obstacles! for the obstacle course! indigo's gonna be a track star!
the valleys full of sims who eat out of your trash?
lilac: yeppers
lilac: mom's probably not busy right now
lilac: MOM WAS BUSY MOM WAS BUSY
having MORE BABIES, of course. hyacinth on the left, plum on the right. also jsyk, my chance for multiples is set suuuuper low. quads and triplets at 1%, twins at like 2%? i don't know why this keeps happening.
anyway lilac eventually got his wish to be flung the fuck around by his tiny fragile bird-wrists right next to the street.
ok, i could not figure this out for the longest time. i was pretty sure sims who learned couples counseling only wanted to reunite couples if they'd actually seen a couple break up? and lavender never had, to my knowledge. but then i remembered marsha had a rando townie crush leftover from when she was a townie, so i belatedly nixed the relationship with insim. so is that who she wanted to get back together? her mom and her girlfriend? in the hopes of breaking up her parents so they would stop breeding, thus giving her a better chance at heir? wiliness.
NANANANANANANANANA POTTY
NANANANANANANANANA TRAINING
NANANANANANANANANA SHY SIM
tiara: i will snuggle the stink away
you truly, truly won't
I HAVE SOME DOUBTS
hey looks it's thistles the neighborhood screamwolf! hi thistles
thistles: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
lilac: yep. my work here is done.
literally everyone: /crowds around to stare at what remains of the bathroom
jet school: i came from across the island and climbed down your chimney just to see this catastrophe with my own two eyes!
we don't even have a chimney
plum, a toddler now: i can't wait for school
hyacinth, also a toddler: pooped m'self
abruptly, violet remembered she's a mean sim and proceeded to start an epic and far-reaching baby war that would, arguably, go on to ruin plum's entire childhood. let's watch.
violet: hah! tiny arms. tiny armed babies can't have horses.
plum: HOW THE FUCK DARE
plum: take a thing from me? I CAN TAKE THINGS, TOO.
indigo: what? no! this is my thing!
indigo: unhand it, villain, the laws of common decency demand that you desist this anarchy!
plum: the fronts and backs of your knees are made of BOOGERS.
indigo: that may be, but my grip is true. i have won the grapple, but at what cost?
plum: i kicked my chin :(
plum: aw man, that was a jerk thing i did. i think i might be a jerk.
indigo: no kidding
indigo: INDEED I WEEP FOR THE VERY FOUNDATION UPON WHICH OUR SOCIETY IS BUILT, FOR IT HAS BEEN SHAKEN TO ITS COOOORE.
plum: eh, i'm over it.
hyacinth: society is loud
while all this was going down, tiara was giving birth in the kitchen. i rolled the pacifier and left her to it because at six kids in, i am so over this. but then i heard the want-achieved chime twice in rapid succession and swiveled over to see this.
15,000? but that's the amount you get for having ten kids
and the only way they could have achieved that is if tiara is having f—
—UCK.
werewolf: yeah, hi there, i'm from the st. dumpling's werewolf association and i was just wondering if you had any fresh children to spare? every little bit helps.
GOLLY, DO WE.
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*goes to read now*
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Then I remembered there is a 16 year RP I am doing where one family has 13 children and another has 10 or 11 I think...
*happy bat squeaks*
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Jam factory has competition now.
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i was gonna comment on all the funny lines but holy shit that's a lot of babies, all my thoughts on the funny just disappeared
(there was so much funny though, your writing is hilarious)
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most of them babies or toddlers all the same time, with only two adults. NEITHER OF WHICH CAN CHANGE A DIAPER. im dying squirtle.
(thank you! i was fretting a lot about being reaaaally out of practice)
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(Anonymous) 2017-08-24 12:09 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
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(Anonymous) 2017-08-25 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)Also, do you mind a couple of WCIFs? I'm asking because I was wondering where you got the interior walls to the Coffin Bean (I asked about this one on the Cakebread 1.1 post awhile ago) and the toddler mattresses/sleepy time assembly line in this update? Oh and the "Zap" wall writing in the bathroom. Thanks.
I'm seriously excited about the next update. XD
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(Anonymous) 2017-08-25 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(it's wall09 in that set. it's §20, and i have no idea how to change wall/floor prices without making entirely new packages, so it's only really practical to use on community lots, lol.)
toddler bed: http://modthesims.info/d/316656
(it's the tiny tikes sleeping mat in the downloads page, none of the other items are required.)
zap: http://simfileshare.net/download/301617/
(this is by necile, the original post has been taken down. i'm not sure why, so apologies if i shouldn't be posting this? these are all the necile recolors i kept from the set, including the zap. if you only want the zap, it's the one labeled zap, lol.)
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(Anonymous) 2017-08-27 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)Also, if Indigo isn't the heir, could you upload her once you hit Gen 3 or Gen 4? I love her! <3
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(Anonymous) 2017-09-03 06:48 am (UTC)(link)Oh! I've been meaning to ask? Did you make that purple Momma Lisa skin or can I find it for download somewhere? I've never seen alien Momma Lisa skins outside of your's and Azaya's pictures.
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I'm not sure who made that specific skin. The file is just called "Blasting_Agent.package" and there's no creator name in the tooltip. I know it's a recolor of my Rehash blend in some of my select unnatural colors, just not who did it. If you still want it even tho it's not specifically a Momma Lisa skin, let me know and I'll upload what I have of the set.
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(Anonymous) 2017-11-13 05:01 am (UTC)(link)no subject
https://suaper.dreamwidth.org/10781.html
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(Anonymous) 2017-09-03 03:00 pm (UTC)(link)Question: How do you manage to get such up close pictures of your toddlers and children?
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idk if it's foreshadowing, but she kept being like "MAN, BARBECUING, RIGHT?" during births, which made me laugh a lot cuz lol yeah, babybbq.
i use a camera edit that makes it so i can zoom waaaaay down to the floor, and even underground for basement pictures and such. it makes it really easy to take pics of tiny, crawly tots. it has some small issues, so i didn't make a download post for it, but i did share it here (question #4).
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http://www.simfileshare.net/download/1748284/
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